you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
