Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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