We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
