Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
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Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
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You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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