I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You took a bar mat shot.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
