for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
