I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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