Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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