Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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