For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
