this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
