kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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