the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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