brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
