____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
