uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize