Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
