She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
