Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
