I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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