Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
