just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
