if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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