At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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