Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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