i think i have herpe
just one?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
