i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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