Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
