Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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