Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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