Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
