OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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