real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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