Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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