i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
