YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
