We're facebook friends in real life
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I need a beard to bite.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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