No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
