Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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