Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
