When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
