tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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