I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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