when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
