Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
