shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
