Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
