I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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