im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My feet surprised me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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