I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
