She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
