That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
