he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
