I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
