Only a mothe r could love this liver
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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