My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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