Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
