walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
