She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
