THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
