Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
