I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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